1/Two Scotches at their own floor this week, and the shelf's oddest near-miss. Johnnie Walker Black is $53, Lagavulin 16 is $145 — both plain shelf tickets, neither a members-only deal. Put them together and the pair is the cheapest it has been in the six weeks I have tracked it.

2/Why they sit side by side: the profile model rates them close. On make-up, Lagavulin 16 is the second-closest bottle to JW Black — the smoke in the blend reading across to the Islay malt. Two very different tags, one broadly shared character.

3/The value model doesn't buy it. On worth-for-money it puts fifteen places between them: a $53 everyday blend and a $145 benchmark Islay are not the same call, whatever their profiles share. Take them as a cheap smoky mixer and a keenly-priced icon, not one standing in for the other.

4/So which floor do you take? The Black at $53 for the smoky everyday pour, or the Lagavulin 16 at $145 while it sits at the low end of its range? Both Dan Murphy's. If your local ticket reads differently, tell me the number.